18 August 2016

Why I avoid being part of 'the blogging community'

Why I avoid being part of the blogging community. Nourish ME: www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

This post was partially inspired by allll the drama that took place on Twitter last night after the shortlist for the #bloggersblogawards was announced, but also by a lot of nastiness that's been building up over the past few weeks. For about the last month or so, every time I've logged into Twitter there's been some kind of heated discussion over the notions of positivity and negativity going on. People are starting to have their say against the notion that all bloggers are meant to be positive, which is fab, but what isn't fab is the backlash. People are being slammed for suggesting that they do like to be positive all the time on social media - that's who they are - and others are being slammed for suggesting that negativity takes place. What's even worse is that it's turned the whole notion of 'the blogging community' into a sphere for bullying. Someone dares to suggest a well-liked blogger has a wrong opinion? Suddenly it's the scene with Kovu from the Lion King 2 again. You know the one, where everyone starts screaming at him as he's removed from the Pride lands with the lyrics 'evil as plain as the scar on his face' etc accompanying him. This is not a community, or at least not one I could say I wanted to be involved with in any case.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love some of my fellow bloggers, and totally support them. But do I need to label myself as being part of a (sometimes truly nasty) community to do so? No. If a blogger has a personality that I get on with, a blog I love and a tweet that I think deserves recognition, then of course I'm going to give it a cheeky like or retweet. I don't however, have to feel the need to do that with everyone. If our personalities clash, your blog isn't my thing, or we just haven't clicked, that's okay - I don't need to support everyone, and I would never expect anyone to do the same for me out of a weird sense of obligation.

Now, whilst I'm saying that I don't feel the need to actively support every blogger in 'the community', this equally doesn't mean that I feel the need to tear them down. If you tweet something I don't agree with, cool, that's fine, I'll ignore it. Unless y'know, I really disagree, and then I'll say something, but always to your face, and without asking for backup to bully someone down. Obviously I'm not perfect - no one is, and we all made the odd bitchy mistake, but it doesn't mean someone deserves to be hated on. Equally I'm never going to go out there and slam someone on a post they've written, because that is honestly just cruel. Just as I won't actively support everyone, I see no need to actively tear anyone down, or follow the wave of 'the blogging community' that jumps on someone's back every so often. 

Ultimately, 'the blogging community' for me is something that has become a pit of cliques, bullying and nastiness, with the odd ray of support shining out. No one is ever going to like everyone, and I think the 'community' forces the idea down our throats that if 'so and so' is friends with a blogger we like then we have to support them. No. Support who you want, be kind, and most of all remember that if you don't want to get involved in drama you don't have to. 

Now, before anyone goes on a rant about this being a totally patronising and bitter post - it's not. There are places where you can receive a buttload of online support from bloggers, and #TheGirlGang (@TheGirlGangHQ) is definitely one of those places, and something I'm proud to be a part of. This post was more of a reminder to myself more than anything, and something I wish someone would have said to me a few months ago when I was really feeling the pressure to integrate myself into the community. Maybe one day the blogging community is something I would like to make myself a part of, but sadly that day is not today.

What are your thoughts?

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18 comments:

  1. I completely agree with this! I had a full of all the drama culprits as I was fed up with it all on my newsfeed.

    Good on you for posting this!

    Izzy xx

    Www.Just-belle.co.uk

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    1. I would have done it, but so many bloggers I love got involved, and it was hard to actually avoid all the back and forth. Thank you!

      Steph x

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  2. I always see drama and talk about it on Twitter but I don't really get involved as I don't ever really know what's happening, I'm getting a lot of weird vibes recently though! Sometimes it's better not to get involved so everything just dies down - ps love the Lion King reference! xx

    - Eternalleigh.blogspot.com

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    1. I've been getting the weird vibes too. Haha thank you, couldn't resist a little bit of Disney!

      Steph x

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  3. I found all of the drama and backlash from the Blogger Award nominations really upsetting and unnecessary too - moments like that really make me despair! I really enjoy interacting with fellow bloggers on social media though, and I've made some really great friends through networks such as Twitter! I can totally see how being part of the community can be very unappealing at times though. Thank you for sharing your views, this was an interesting read! ❤️

    Abbey ✨ www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. I think the Blogger Awards really brought all the tension together, and I found it so sad to see something that positive turned into something nasty

      Steph x

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  4. Completely agree with everything you've said! I love interacting with other bloggers but find it can be quite cliquey sometimes x

    www.foodandotherloves.co.uk

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    1. I'm exactly the same! I'll always interact with other bloggers I love, but I can't deal with 'the community'

      Steph x

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  5. I've been shocked at some of the things I've seen on Twitter recently. Usually, I miss all the drama, because I don't follow the people who cause it. But every so often, something will pop up in my timeline. Thankfully, I didn't see anything in regards to the Blogger's Blog Awards, but two other incidents did make it onto my timeline. My reaction to these was to unfollow those who were being unreasonable or coming across as aggressive. Disagreement is fine, but let's keep it civil people! I feel like the blogging community is like the population of the world, with smaller blogger communities being like the population of countries. I feel like I'm part of a blogger community, but I wouldn't say I'm part of 'the' blogger community, if that makes sense? The community I feel I'm part of is one of support & acceptance where people can disagree & be positive or negative, as long as they are respectful of others. I don't identify as being in a community with those who feel that being nasty is acceptable. Xx

    Tania | When Tania Talks

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    1. So have I! That's totally what I was trying to get across - that I enjoy being part of 'a' blogging community, but not 'the' one!

      Steph x

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  6. We agree! We don't fit any mould...and so dont really fit the cliques. We do have our fave sites and we definitely support other bloggers...just haven't got best blogger pals. We are quite new though..At least we've got eachother ❤️

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    1. Cliques are so horrible, and I love being friends with bloggers, I just don't like the strict ideas about 'the community'

      Steph x

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  7. I'm really new to blogging so I haven't experienced much of this, although I did see all of the drama surrounding the blog awards and I think it's best to just not get involved! xx

    http://www.jessbethan.blogspot.com

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    1. Yeah I tried to avoid the blog awards in the end, which is such a shame because the hate surrounding it definitely seemed to put the love in a bit of a shadow

      Steph x

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  8. I completely agree with this and it makes me sad to see some negative people and bitterness, It shouldn't be this way

    -kimberleyjessica.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. It makes me really sad too - I so wish there was far less bitchiness!

      Steph x

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  9. I didn't see the drama regarding the Bloggers Blog Awards - I wasn't even aware of any drama - and I've hardly been on Twitter recently, but sometimes I see drama in the blogging community and it makes me sad because it's so unnecessary. I also think that there are some divisions within the community and that's wrong.

    Plus, if you call out the flaws within the blogging community, people really get on your case. I remember when Vix Meldrew wrote a post about bad behaviour from some bloggers - which was a very honest post and completely justified - and she got a lot of flack for it, and that's wrong too. As bloggers we should able to express our feelings instead of treading on eggshells.

    Chichi
    chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I remember the same post from Vix and it was awful to see how much nasty backlash she got from it! I hope in the future we can learn to raise each other up rather than tearing each other down

      Steph x

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