31 March 2017

Am I Falling Out of Love With Blogging?

 Am I Falling Out of Love With Blogging? Nourish ME: www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

I'm a quitter. I have been all my life. There was the month in which I learned guitar, my dabbling in Ancient Greek (what a cool kid), those few months in which I was obsessed with the idea of doing gymnastics and about ten thousand other hobbies that I took up and dropped with a few days, weeks or months. But for some reason, blogging has stuck with me. It's the only hobby that I've kept up and continued for over a year because I bloody love it. Or did, I'm not so sure anymore.

I've been avoiding writing this post for a few weeks because writing it down kinda meant admitting it (does anyone else get this?), but I like to be open on here, and hiding away from how I feel is just going to make my content distanced and impersonal.

In the past few days I've actually begun to feel like I'm getting my mojo back a little bit, but this month has been full of ups and downs in my blogging experience. I seem to have gotten a zillion emails offering cool brand collaborations, only for them to include follow links, no payment, and sometimes even no product. Some were really random, filled with things you guys would never be interested in, or the usual obscure infographics. I even got offered a box of fucking teabags in exchange for an entire blog post and SM posts, because the PR company had 'no budget' for their campaign. I've heard the words 'no budget' so many times this month that it seems unreal. And the worst part? As much as I tell myself it shouldn't happen, I know a newer blogger to the scene would jump at the chance of a freebie or two, so the PR person would still get their campaign sorted, just without me.

I found myself thinking about whether you guys would like to read a post on teabags (albeit special matcha green tea ones, oooh) before considering whether I'd actually enjoy writing it. And I think for me that's where things have gone a little wrong. I considered the fact that it'd bring in low page views before the fact that I'd be doing a good two hours of free work for a PR company. 

My obsession with numbers at the moment has been extreme. Slow growth is a failure, or at least that's what I've been telling myself. And it's even worse when, with a cheeky little purchase, someone gains three times as many followers in ten minutes as I've gained in the last year. But I don't want to have to look back and think that I've bought my way up, and I like genuinely engaging with you guys. I don't want to tweet to a load of bots and have no one actually care about what I'm saying. 

I'm not going to say that when I started blogging things in general were a lot simpler. They weren't, but I was oblivious to a lot of the complexities. Now even when I'm not writing, I'm scheduling content months in advance, thinking of witty tweets to pop onto Buffer to go out during the day, and wondering why I'm wasting my energy doing anything that isn't blogging-related. It shouldn't be like that. I feel a little bit like I'm back at uni again: everyone seems to be doing more and getting further ahead, whilst I'm left trailing behind. 

At the beginning of March I was faced with a dilemma: what do I do with my blog whilst on holiday for most of April? Do I write a post every single day in March so that I have content prepared, ready to publish? Or do I wing it and try to write on holiday? It took me a good fortnight to even consider not publishing new content whilst I'm away, but that's what I've decided to do now. My blogging schedule for Florida is officially cleared. I'll be on Instagram and twitter whenever I feel like it (obvs) and I'm sure I'll think of a buttload of new content whilst I'm out there, but the important thing is that there will be no pressure. I can spend my time chilling by the pool, not hunched over my laptop, forcing content that won't come because I'd rather be somewhere else. I know by the end of the break I'll be itching to get writing again, but that's what it should all be about, right? 

So, goodbye for now - I'll see you soon with posts that feel a bit more me!

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10 comments:

  1. Aw, you're definitely not alone in feeling this way! I've gone through the exact same thing. Wondering if I should write about a product, watching my numbers stay stagnant and low- it can be real soul crushing at times! I think your authenticity is what will keep your love of blogging alive. We also need more bloggers like you who share honest and genuine posts, it's refreshing to read in the world of blogging. Keep your head up girl! Have a lovely weekend xx

    Sending light & love your way,
    My Lovelier Days

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    1. That's so comforting to hear! My numbers have just completely flattened out on every platform. Thank you so much for being so kind!

      Steph x

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  2. I must admit I have been struggling with my blog a little and it really is because of numbers, my blog just isn't growing like i hoped it would! I don't know whether it's because people are buying more followers now that my blog seems to be so little or that really people just don't give a damn about my content! Who knows!?

    I have always said I want to keep this blog as a hobby but I still get caught up in the number game!!

    I hope you have a fab holiday dear!xx

    Honeypot Blogs

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    1. It's so hard when you're putting so much effort in, especially when others are buying their way up!

      Steph x

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  3. Oh Steph it sucks that you're feeling like this but I TOTALLY get it. I think the best thing to do is just enjoy your time away and come back to blogging feeling refreshed. I think the most important thing with a blog is that you enjoy it, you enjoy creating the content, and not to get caught up on PR, brands and numbers. I'm sure when you get back you will have your mojo back and feel inspired.

    Have a lovely break!

    The Makeup Directory

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    1. I'm so glad I'm not alone. The time away has done me a world of good, and I really feel like I want to blog right now, rather than that I 'have to'

      Steph x

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  4. Oh gosh, Steph, I can totally relate to this! I've felt so disheartened and totally like I've fallen out of love with blogging recently. Mostly because of...you guessed it...numbers. I lost nearly 100 followers on IG in less than 48 hours a week or so ago and it destroyed my confidence. My blog views were way down, too. And I just felt like, what's the point? But I've since come to realise what the point is. The point is this; I love blogging. I love blogging for me, and no one else. Sure, I love seeing the numbers rise, but that's not why I started. I love producing content, sharing it, and social media. I love this hobby, that has stuck around way longer than any other hobby I've ever tried. So I'm not ready to give up on it yet. And I hope you won't either, and you remember why you fell in love with blogging in the first place. Enjoy your holiday! x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

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    1. That is such a big drop oh no! I ended March with less followers than I ended February with and that was so disheartening. I'm glad you're not ready to give up!

      Steph x

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  5. I keep looking at my numbers too! Paranoingly so (is that a word? Should be if not)!
    I feel down and feel like I'm not good enough if they ever go down etc.
    You're definitely not alone in these feelings. I haven't blogged for a while due to exams and I kind of think, will I ever get back "to where I was," knowing I have this problem every two months?
    Nevertheless I do hope you keep blogging but have a good holiday in April too!xxx

    The Frugal Teen | http://thefrugalteen.wixsite.com/thefrugalteen

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    1. I feel the same way! I seem to obsess over them 10x more now than I did when they were going up at a reasonable rate!

      Steph x

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I read each and every one of your comments, and really appreciate the time you've taken to add them! If you want or need a more immediate response then contact me through my twitter @stephhartley4. Thank you!