Earlier this week I lost a teacher that had taught me for seven whole years, and as such, I lost a huge inspiration in my life. This really made me think about the death of my Grandfather, or 'Grandy', something that happened four years ago and really really destroyed me at the time.
Over the past couple of days, I've been thinking about grief in general, and how it never really leaves you. Yet, there are things that help. This list I've compiled is by no means some kind of textbook which will give you all the answers, and definitely should be taken with a pinch of salt. These are all the little things that have helped me deal with grief during my lifetime, especially at a time when I lost the man who was effectively a second father to me.
So, without further ado, here are 25 small things that I've found can help to ease the pain of grief, however marginally:
1.) Seek help if you need it. There's this massive belief that if you're not the closest person to someone who has passed away, you ought to be less effected, and less upset than them. This isn't true: your grief matters and if you think it's all becoming too much, book time into a therapist's office or see what your doctor has to say.
2.) Don't buy into the toxic notion of them being 'proud' of you when you do something right if you don't want to. This has the opposite outcome too: you feel like absolute shit if you do something they wouldn't like.
3.) Don't feel guilty on the first day that you don't think about them: this is going to happen over time, but it doesn't mean you care any less.
4.) Listen to some music to chill out.
5.) Go for a long walk in a natural environment. Bring a favourite playlist with you.
6.) Don't isolate yourself: explain to a friend how you're feeling and ask to meet for coffee, or a Disney movie date.
7.) Speaking of which, engross yourself in your favourite film.
8.) Accept the tears.
9.) Don't isolate yourself physically - a hug can sometimes do far more good than words can.
10.) Get a Start Where You Are journal. Honestly, it's amazing.
11.) Write about your feelings. It doesn't have to be in a public sphere, but physically writing (or typing) can be incredibly cathartic.
12.) Do something you've always wanted to do, but have put off.
13.) On a similar note, take up a new hobby.
14.) Take a companion to the funeral that you can spent the remainder of the day with - don't spend that day alone.
15.) Deal with admin when you can, and not before.
16.) Explain to people why you're behind, or off. If you can't do it face to face, then do it via an email. Then your work colleagues/classmates won't think you're just being rude when you're quiet.
17.) Buy a mindfulness colouring book and give it a whirl.
18.) If you don't want to force yourself out of the house, then don't. Curl up in a duvet fort with your favourite snacks and Netflix.
19.) Don't stress about eating - if you're comfort eating lots, that's all good, and if you've lost your appetite, just try to remember to get as many nutrients in as possible.
20.) Don't abandon your self care routine.
21.) Take a long bath with your favourite programme and a nice candle.
22.) Allow yourself time to breathe.
23.) Cuddle your pets.
24.) De-clutter your home. Make it an environment you truly want to be in.
25.) Finally, accept that your life shouldn't have to end with theirs, and that believing this doesn't make you selfish.
What would you add to the list?
Follow me on Bloglovin | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Youtube