Dealing with Weight Gain Part Six: Fat Shaming Comments
This is now the sixth installment in my dealing with weight gain series, although I haven't blogged about it in quite a few months. This was a post that I never envisioned writing, but after receiving some nasty comments from someone close over summer I couldn't ignore it. In the last five parts I've discussed: a general look at weight gain, blogger confidence, being on a budget, stretch marks and avoiding extremes. I actually started this little project over a year ago, and realistically, I hoped that I wouldn't be sat here writing about it now. I had hoped that I would have gone down to a healthier weight for my size, especially with a big holiday looming, but it just hasn't happened. And that's okay.
Except, it's not okay for some people. And I find that really strange. Why is my weight any of your business? Why not focus on your own weight rather than bringing other people down? Sometimes it's unintentional, I get it. Like when my 8-year-old cousin told me that my cheeks had started to look like Jeff's (aka my chubby lil hamster). But that's cool. He's a kid. It wasn't designed to make me feel like shit, it was just an observation.
However, when it comes down to a reasonable adult asking me about my 'weight problem'? Nuh-uh. Who said it was a problem? I certainly didn't, so you shouldn't have. Fat shaming comments come in a variety of forms, from the 'are you really going to eat all that' to the not-so-subtle 'have you been doing any exercise recently' and all the ridiculous in-betweens.
Now, up until recently, this blog post was going to take a completely different turn to how's it's going to go now. I read Gracie Francesca's post on why you shouldn't be offended if someone calls you fat, and boy oh boy is it an opinion turner. She chats all about why the word fat has gotten so many negative connotations to it. Calling someone slim is just an adjective, but fat? Well that's a whole different story.
So, rather than focusing on the word 'fat' and having it used against you, I'm going to be chatting specifically about the fat shaming comments that either don't mention it, or use it amongst other words to vilify it.
My main piece of advice is in essence this: tell the fat shamer to fuck off. But one, that's not always appropriate, and two, it takes a lot of balls to turn around and do that. One person has honestly made at least a dozen different truly hurtful fat shaming comments to me. At the time, however, I was living in her house, so what could I do about it? Nothing, except sit back and take it. And it was horrible. But that's life. There's always going to be situations like that, where they're being wrong and disgusting and unfair, but realistically you can't do what you want and stand up and tell them to F off.
So my advice is to say an inwards fuck you. Because fat doesn't mean anything, apart from a dress size and a BMI figure. Loving food and eating portion sizes you determine is up to you. Even if what you're eating may be unhealthy (yes, I know my nachos aren't going to magically transform into a salad thank you very much) it is your decision. No one has the right to shame you, or make you feel shit with their words. If you want to wear a crop top and you're not a size 6, who cares? If it makes you feel fab, it makes you feel fab.
I wish people that made fat shaming comments could see the damage that it does internally, especially to young girls. It's important to remember that not everyone who has an eating disorder is skinny. You shouldn't comment on anybody's size, because ultimately, what impact is their size going to make on you? Who cares if I ate all the pies? Food is fab, I'm fab, and learning to listen to myself and my squad of people who support me is finally starting to overtake the voices who want to force me to change by acting shitty towards me.