I imagine it'll come as no surprise to hear that I'm an introvert. I love spending time on my own in the quiet and forcing myself to be around people can sometimes be a bit *too* much. I'm not anti-social (most of the time), and in that respect I can be an extroverted introvert; I love talking to people, and the social aspect of working as a waitress is something I really miss.
On the face of it, I think that January seems like the easiest month for an introvert. There are no expectations to visit family like there were in December, you can justify staying in because of how cold it is outside and you've got all your Christmas presents to pamper yourself with/read. But, I think January can be a scary and potentially damaging time. Without that impetus to go out there and see people it can be so easy to isolate yourself this month. And whilst that feels good most of the time, it can have an impact when you realise there's no one to turn to, or that you've gone a week or two without seeing a friend.
January is cold and miserable, and there's no denying that. On the surface, I think I'm perfectly happy curling up alone with a book each night, and spending an hour or so with the boyfriend before bed, but underneath that's not quite enough to keep me okay. This week I've started to feeling really down, and if I'm honest, the whole of January has been really tough. I wasn't able to put my finger on what was going wrong until last night: I'd stopped socialising. I went to work, came home from work and sat alone in my room, and went to bed, and the weekends weren't really any better.
Last night I took a whole night off from doing anything productive. I spent an hour or two alone, which I feel as though I always need after work, and then I spent the rest of the evening actually doing things with my boyfriend. This morning I woke up feeling ten times better. So, for the rest of January I'm determined to actually socialise a bit more, and not cut myself off from everyone.
Here's a lil list of some of the sociable things that I'm going to do that won't break my anxious introverted heart:
- reply to people's messages on time - actually have a conversation!
- call a family member from home and catch up
- write a letter to my Grandma
- invite a friend over to watch a movie/play board games
- go to a pub quiz
These are all things that I love doing, but take a little bit of persuasion for me to do. However, isolating myself from others is just so toxic for me, and I need to force myself to socialise, even if it's harder than normal this month.